How To (Not) Talk About Your Job Search Stress During The Holidays

Popular How To (Not) Talk About Your Job Search Stress During The Holidays J.T. O'DonnellDecember 04, 2023 Bigstock {"adCodes": [{"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 0, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}, {"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 1, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}, {"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 2, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}], "adsOrder": [2]}

The holidays can be really stressful for job seekers, especially for those who are between gigs right now (I won't call it "unemployed"). It's stressful because you're with your family and everybody asks, "So how's your job search going?" or "Where are you in your job search?"

Family and friends also tend to give a lot of really horrible, unsolicited advice on how to look for a job:

• "Well, you should walk right in and knock on doors."
• "Are you sending out 100 applications a day?"

These are bad job search techniques, and yet these people likely haven't looked for work in a while or are super old school. And while they're trying to be well-intentioned, all they're doing is stressing you out.

Set Boundaries With Your Family During The Holidays

So, as someone who's been coaching people through this for many years, my advice is to be prepared to set your boundaries. When somebody asks about your job search, you can say...

"I love that you're thinking of me. I promise you, my job search is under control. I'm taking a well-deserved day off today to celebrate with family and just want to talk about other things. But I promise you, I'm working with a career coachand all is good.

By setting boundaries, you're shutting them down. You're letting them know you appreciate their kind thoughts, but you're not going there today.

It's important for you to set boundaries with family, friends, and anyone else in your life who is bound to ask about your job search. People have to understand that they are overstepping and being inappropriate.

They always say people treat you the way you let them. So be prepared. Have that answer, rehearse it, practice it in the mirror. Make sure you've got a smile on your face so you don't look angry or defensive—but shut the questions down.

If they ask you again, or they start to give you advice, or they don't listen to you, say, "You know, I really don't feel like talking about this right now. I'm just trying to enjoy my day." And if they still keep talking about it, turn on your heel and walk away. We've got to learn to stand up for ourselves.

Good luck with your holiday job search! Go get 'em!

Need help finding a job?

Become a member to learn how to land a job and UNLEASH your true potential to get what you want from work!

From Your Site Articles

• 3 Tips For Staying Positive During A Holiday Job Search ›
• 6 Ways To Deal With Family Asking About Your Job Search ›
• 13 Holiday Networking Tips You Need To Know ›
• 5 Reasons You Should Continue Your Job Search During The Holidays ›

Related Articles Around the Web

• The Part Of The Job Search No One Talks About (That Can Make Or ... ›
• how can I make people stop talking to me about my job search ... ›
• 18 Best TED Talks to Inspire Your Job Search | by Liam Nolan | The ... ›

holiday job search {"customDimensions": {"1":"J.T. O'Donnell","3":"holiday job search, holidays, holiday season, family, friends, job search, job seekers, unemployed, set boundaries, setting boundaries, job search tips, job search advice, job search help, career, career advice, career tips, career help, career coach, career coaching, stress, job search process, job search frustration, job search strategies, job search techniques","2":"popular","4":"12/04/2023"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 370480899, 376550212, 404327439, 479660731, 543270555, 473310813, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [19549412]} } 8 Ways You're Being SHUT OUT Of The Hiring Process1-hour workshop to help job seekers figure out what's getting them tossed from the hiring processCover Letter 3 Tips For Overcoming Your Biggest Job Search FEARS Jenna ArcandSeptember 28, 2022 {"adCodes": [{"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 0, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}, {"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 1, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}, {"desktop": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "display": true, "mobile": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e", "new_amp": "\u003camp-ad width=336 height=280\n type=\"doubleclick\"\n data-slot=\"/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_content\"\n data-multi-size=\"300x250\"\u003e\n\u003c/amp-ad\u003e", "order": 2, "tablet": "\u003cdiv class=\u0027rblad-wit_content\u0027\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"}], "adsOrder": [2]} Are you terrified of screwing up a job interview? Does the thought of writing a cover letter horrify you? Are you scared to network with others? What do you even say, anyway? If you're struggling to overcome your job search fears, this live event is for you.

We get it. Looking for work can be scary, especially if you’ve been at it for a long time and haven’t gotten any results.

Understanding which fears are getting in the way and how to overcome them will make all the difference. Sometimes you might not be aware of which obstacle is getting in the way of your goals. If you want to overcome these fears once and for all, we invite you to join us!

In this training, you’ll learn how to:

• Utilize strategies for coping with your job search fears
• Be confident in your job search—from writing your resume to networking
• Face your fears and move forward

Join our CEO, J.T. O'Donnell, and Director of Training Development & Coaching, Christina Burgio, for this live event on Wednesday, October 5th at 12 pm ET.

CAN'T ATTEND LIVE? That's okay. You'll have access to the recording and the workbook after the session!

Read moreShow lessjob search fears {"customDimensions": {"1":"Executive Community, Jenna Arcand","3":"live events, career events, j.t. o'donnell, jt o'donnell, christina burgio, career advice, career, career growth, professionals, job search, job seekers, job interview, job search tips, job search advice, interview, job interview tips, interview tips, job search fears, overcome job search fears, networking, cover letter, resume, writing a cover letter, job search strategy, job search help, looking for a job, unemployed","2":"cover-letter","4":"09/28/2022"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 376490081, 562457120, 370480899, 376490053, 376489574, 376491143, 376489962, 404327439, 376489624, 479660731, 543270555, 473310813, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [21030904, 19836096]} } Featured 5 Benefits Of Working For The Federal Government {"customDimensions": {"1":"2U, Jenna Arcand","3":"government, federal jobs, job seekers, federal government, job search, benefits, job benefits, career, benefits of working for the federal government, perks, working for the government, working for the federal government, job security, vacation days, health benefits, retirement benefits, healthcare, working for the public sector, public sector jobs","2":"popular","4":"12/05/2023"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 14, "sections": [0, 370480899, 404327439, 543270555, 479660731, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [19549414, 19836096]} } Now Hiring: Remote SysOps Engineer {"customDimensions": {"1":"Work It Daily, Kinsta \u00ae","3":"kinsta, hiring, remote jobs, remote work, remote workforce, remote companies hiring, remote companies 2021, sysops engineer, sysops engineer jobs","2":"popular","4":"05/18/2021"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [370480899, 545998439, 545998440, 473310812, 376489962, 526353713, 545658354, 548352055, 548352058, 543270555, 473333499, 473310813], "buckets": [], "authors": [19548593, 21891195]} } 3 Important Career Lessons Learned On And Off The Field {"customDimensions": {"1":"Executive Community, J.T. O'Donnell","3":"career change, entrepreneur, entrepreneurship, career, career challenges, overcoming career challenges, personal branding, personal development, professional development, professional growth, success, career success, pro athletes, tom brady, chris gronkowski, nfl, tiktok, social media strategy, social media, career growth","2":"popular","4":"02/10/2021"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 370480899, 376489962, 526353713, 376489624, 473333499, 479660731], "buckets": [], "authors": [21030904, 19549412]} } How Ex-NFL Player, Chris Gronkowski, Is Using Social Media To Change Careers {"customDimensions": {"1":"Executive Community, J.T. O'Donnell","3":"2010, Barstool, camera phone, career growth and development, career growth opportunities, chrisgronkowski, cowboys, dallascowboys, dinner, football, free, gronkspike, iceshaker, investor, nfl, nflfootball, nflplayer, nflplayers, nflworkout, payday, rookie, salary, sharing, sharktank, tic toc, tic tok, tick tock, ticktock, tictok, tik tok, tiktok, tiktok.com, trade, trainingcamp, upload, video, video phone, weighin, youtube.com, \u0442\u0438\u043a \u0442\u043e\u043a, \u30c6\u30a3\u30c3\u30af\u30c8\u30c3\u30af, chris gronkowski","2":"popular","4":"01/29/2021"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 370480899, 526353713, 376489624, 473333499, 479660731], "buckets": [], "authors": [21030904, 19549412]} }