Reading People’s Emotions: A Beginner’s Guide

Community Reading People’s Emotions: A Beginner’s Guide Liam AndersonJanuary 02, 2023 Happy woman smiles while talking to her coworker

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“Just the facts ma’am” — Wrong!

At school and university, we are constantly taught that only facts and rational, logical arguments matter. Then we enter the workforce. People’s responses seem to be driven more by feelings than by facts.

Wouldn’t it be great if we “unemotional” types could figure out how people were feeling? Maybe we wouldn’t “put our foot in it” so often. Maybe we might find it easier to handle customers/bosses or colleagues.

There is! It’s a technique life coaches use. It’s called “listening for emotion.”

What To Listen Out For Man listens to his coworker while they work on a project together

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There are five areas to home in on…

1. Words spoken

Listen carefully when someone uses “emotion words” such as “this made me really angry," “I was scared to death,” etc.

This might sound like an exaggeration, but it tells you how the speaker feels about the situation. To find out more, you might want to ask: “What was it that made you so angry/scared?" etc.

When your speaker answers, stay silent and listen carefully to what they say. You might learn something that will help you see things from their point of view.

2. Words not spoken

Sometimes the message is in what is not said. This often happens when you are on a customer’s site, and two colleagues are talking. One says something like: “Well, George will be George…” and the other just exchanges a glance with the first.

We can infer that both colleagues find George difficult to deal with. If George happens to be a key influencer for you in the company, that can be useful to know.

3. Pitch

As you listen to a person’s voice, you get an idea of what tone is “normal” for them.

At some point, you may notice that the person’s tone gets lower.

This may signal a change of mood. Ask yourself: “What triggered that apparent change in mood? What were we talking about at that point?”

By matching a change in the tone of voice with a change of subject, or in response to something you or someone else said, you can tell if you hit a nerve that you might otherwise have missed.

Depending on the situation, this might be an area to avoid or probe further.

4. Pace

As you talk to the other person, you will get an idea of how fast they normally talk. Once again, watch out for any sudden change of speed.

If a person suddenly starts talking faster, they may feel uncomfortable and want to get past this topic as quickly as possible.

If a person hesitates, they may be unsure of what is the best thing to say to achieve the desired result.

Either way, they appear not to feel as comfortable as they did a few moments ago.

Once more, ask yourself: “What triggered the apparent change in mood? What were we talking about at that point?”

This may reveal what the “elephant in the room” really is.

5. Power (Volume)

How loud is the person talking? Think about how the person is speaking at the start of the conversation and how they change their volume.

Many people will focus on a person who gets louder during the conversation, but in fact, it’s often when they get quieter that is more revealing. This happens when the conversation has taken a turn that they do not find comfortable.

Our favorite questions, “What triggered the apparent change in mood?” and “What were we talking about at that point?” will serve you well.

Changing The Temperature Businesspeople listen to their coworker talk during a meeting

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Once you get used to the idea, you will realize that these changes rarely happen in isolation. A reduction in volume usually comes with a reduction in pace.

If you are talking to the person face to face, this may also come with the person turning away from you.

Practice Makes Perfect Businessmen talk to each other and read each other's emotions during a meeting

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You have many opportunities to practice and perfect this skill.

Watch films where the acting is considered good, and conversation is a major part of the film. The opening scene of the Godfather, where various characters come to Don Corleone asking for favors at his daughter’s wedding, is a classic example.

Watch interviews. A couple of classics would be David Frost’s famous interview with former President Nixon after he had been impeached or Emily Maitliss’ interview with Prince Andrew. The Michael Parkinson celebrity interviews often revealed unexpected emotional depths.

If you are talking in a group, try observing the other people’s behavior more carefully. You may need to talk less yourself to give yourself time to observe. What you see may be quite revealing.

Michael Crighton, in his novel Rising Sun, observed that Japanese managers will often deliberately take a “back seat” at the start of a negotiation, partly to give junior colleagues the chance to gain experience, but also to observe the other party without having to think about what they are saying first, and so gauge the other person’s vulnerabilities before stepping in to close the deal.

The final stage is to start evaluating the other person’s emotional state as you are talking to them yourself. You will find this exercise gives conversations a whole new depth.

Further reading...

You may find this interesting too: Pulling The Tiger’s Teeth: How To Deal With Angry Customers

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8 Ways You're Being SHUT OUT Of The Hiring Process1-hour workshop to help job seekers figure out what's getting them tossed from the hiring processCover Letter 3 Tips For Overcoming Your Biggest Job Search FEARS Jenna ArcandSeptember 28, 2022 Work It Daily's live event "3 Tips For Overcoming Your Biggest Job Search FEARS"

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Read moreShow lessjob search fears {"customDimensions": {"1":"Executive Community, Jenna Arcand","3":"live events, career events, j.t. o'donnell, jt o'donnell, christina burgio, career advice, career, career growth, professionals, job search, job seekers, job interview, job search tips, job search advice, interview, job interview tips, interview tips, job search fears, overcome job search fears, networking, cover letter, resume, writing a cover letter, job search strategy, job search help, looking for a job, unemployed","2":"cover-letter","4":"09/28/2022"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 376490081, 562457120, 370480899, 376490053, 376489574, 376491143, 376489962, 404327439, 376489624, 479660731, 543270555, 473310813, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [21030904, 19836096]} } Get Some LeverageSign up for The Work It Daily NewsletterEnter emailSubscribeFollow window.googletag = window.googletag || {cmd: []}; googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot('/22278042776,22664312254/wit/wit_multiplex', ['fluid'], 'wit_multiplex').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.enableServices(); googletag.display('wit_multiplex'); }); Popular How To Answer Interview Questions About How You Handle A Heavy Workload Peggy McKeeJenna ArcandDecember 23, 2022 Man answers interview question about how he handles a heavy workload

Man answers interview question about how he handles a heavy workload

We all have times on the job when the work piles up. However, we don't all react in the same way. Some of us handle that stress better than others. A potential employer naturally wants to know how you will react when that situation happens in this new job. So, they say something like, "Describe a time when your workload was particularly heavy and what steps you took to handle it."

How would you describe a heavy workload?

A heavy workload is a workload that requires you to use your time management skills to juggle multiple tasks, responsibilities, and projects in order to successfully complete them on time—without sacrificing the quality of your work.

How should you answer interview questions about how you handle a heavy workload?

In order to effectively answer interview questions about how you handle a heavy workload, you need to know how to answer behavioral interview questions using the "Experience + Learn = Grow" format or STAR technique. You also should understand what employers want to know (what are they REALLY asking?).

Behavioral Interview Questions

This is a type of behavioral interview question. These types of questions ask you to describe your past actions or predict how you'll react in future situations. These can be great ways to get insight into your personality and how you approach difficult situations.

Answers to behavioral interview questions are best structured using the STAR format (situation or task, action you took, and results you achieved). Using this technique ensures you say what you need to say to give a complete answer to the question. (Some people forget to talk about the results they got from the actions they took, but this is the most important part.)

What Do Employers Want To Know? Young man answers interview question about how he handles a heavy workload

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Basically, employers want to know how you approach problems and stress. Can you adapt? Can you prioritize? Can you stay calm? A lot of people will just say, "I stay until the work is done." Persistence is good, but letting them know that you approach problems analytically and strategically is better. Show them that you can think critically and make good decisions. Walk them through how you have dealt with this issue before or how you would deal with it.

Good Sample Answers Hiring manager asks job candidate how they handle a heavy workload

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Here are a couple of examples of good answers to this question:

1. "We all have times when the workload gets a little heavier than normal. I've found that the best way to handle it is to step back, take a look at everything on my task list, and prioritize. Most of the time, not everything needs to get done immediately. Some things are more critical to team goals than others, so sometimes it's necessary to prioritize."

Then, tell a short story about a time when you did that, and tell what the results of it were: you got X task done, which was beneficial because of Y.

2. "In that kind of situation, prioritizing and teamwork both become critical. I speak to my supervisor to see if I can help him or her and get some input on which tasks to tackle first."

Then, talk about the time you provided assistance to your boss on a mission-critical task and what happened as a result of that teamwork.

Every interview answer should help sell you for the job. Be prepared with great answers for dozens of tough questions in How to Answer Interview Questions and How to Answer Interview Questions II, both available on Amazon.

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This article was originally published at an earlier date.

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As a professional, your LinkedIn profile is an essential career tool. No matter if you're looking for a job or just trying to build your personal brand, it's important to completely fill out your LinkedIn profile so you can get the most out of the professional networking platform.

In 2023, there are a few things you should pay extra attention to on your LinkedIn profile. If you're looking for a job this year, make sure your LinkedIn profile includes the following three things:

1. An Optimized Headline

Don't let your LinkedIn headline default to your job title and your job title only. Optimize it by packing your LinkedIn headline with intentional keywords. Incorporate your top four to five hard skill sets that directly support the service you provide, and then separate each skill with a vertical line. This will make it very easy for recruiters and your connections to see where you add value.

Why does this strategy optimize your LinkedIn profile? Well, keywords increase your chances of showing up in search results. Because recruiters search for skill sets, those are technically your keywords. The more skill sets you have (and the better your LinkedIn profile is optimized), the higher you'll rank in relevant search results. If you're not incorporating the right keywords, you'll have a hard time standing out against the competition. You might not even show up in a search result at all.

It's also never a good idea to put "looking for new opportunities" or "currently unemployed" in your LinkedIn headline. Your headline is prime real estate. It's a valuable piece of your profile. Don't waste space including these phrases. It won't help your job search, and it'll only make you look desperate.

So, to optimize your LinkedIn profile, you can keep your job title in your LinkedIn headline, but make sure to include some of your top skill sets that support your job title too.

2. A Brief (But Compelling) "About" Section Man fills out his LinkedIn profile

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Your "About" section, formerly known as the summary section, is not where you write an epic novel about your career story or where you talk about yourself in the third person. It's where you write a brief, yet compelling story about yourself in the first person. You also want to include your personal branding statement here.

After your personal branding statement, make a keyword-filled list of your top 10 skills and a list of any technologies/software you're proficient in at the bottom of your "About" section. These should be vertical lists because that will allow recruiters to use them as checklists. They'll clearly see what your skills are and have a good idea of whether you're qualified for a certain position or not.

Like in your resume, it's important to leverage white space in your "About" section. Paragraphs don't get read. Recruiters skim LinkedIn profiles, and if they see something they like, then they'll go back and read a little bit more. White space makes it easier to read your "About" section, so avoid big blocks of text at all costs.

To catch an employer's eye, follow this format in your "About" section. It should prompt them to review the rest of your LinkedIn profile, which brings us to your recommendations...

3. Recommendations Woman fills out her LinkedIn profile

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When you're looking for a job, what you're really doing is marketing yourself to an employer, and LinkedIn recommendations are a great way to sell yourself.

LinkedIn recommendations are essentially testimonials of your character and ability. They're a testament from a credible source saying that you're able to do what you claim you can. This is why they're essential to your LinkedIn profile.

If you don't have any recommendations on LinkedIn yet, don't worry. You can get recommendations using two different strategies: proactive recommendation seeking and passive recommendation seeking. The proactive strategy involves reaching out and asking someone to recommend you. The passive strategy involves recommending someone, at which point LinkedIn asks them to recommend you back (this way is actually a bit more effective).

Having recommendations on your LinkedIn profile makes you so much more attractive to recruiters and hiring managers. If other people are recommending you for the service you provide as a business-of-one, you must be an incredibly valuable employee, someone who could help a company reach its goals. Make that impression with lots of recommendations on your LinkedIn profile.

If you're looking for a job in 2023, you can't afford to have an incomplete LinkedIn profile. So, don't forget to add these three things to yours!

Need more help with your LinkedIn profile?

Sign up for our FREE Resume & LinkedIn Bootcamp today to learn how to update your resume and LinkedIn profile the way recruiters want!Read moreShow lesswhat to include on linkedin profile {"customDimensions": {"1":"Jenna Arcand","3":"linkedin profile, linkedin, linkedin tips, linkedin advice, linkedin recommendations, job search, career advice, job seekers, career, what to include on linkedin profile, linkedin profile help, linkedin profile advice, linkedin help, linkedin profile tips, linkedin headline, about section, summary section, skills, skill sets, career tips, career help, what to include on your linkedin profile","2":"popular","4":"12/23/2022"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 370480899, 376550212, 376536198, 404327439, 479660731, 543270555, 473310813, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [19836096]} } Featured Happy woman smiles while talking to her coworker

Reading People’s Emotions: A Beginner’s Guide {"customDimensions": {"1":"Executive Community, Liam Anderson","3":"how to read people's emotions, how to read people, how to read emotions, how to read other peoples emotions, reading peoples emotions, emotional intelligence, emotions, feelings, reading people, business, sales, customers, colleagues, bosses, managers, coworkers, reading emotions","2":"community","4":"01/02/2023"}, "post": {"split_testing": {}, "providerId": 0, "sections": [0, 544324100, 544398580, 544398581, 479660731, 544398590, 473333499], "buckets": [], "authors": [21030904, 25006587]} }

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J.T. O'Donnell reflects on lessons professionals can learn from athletes.

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Reading People’s Emotions: A Beginner’s Guide

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